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40 random ways to annoy people:
IN THE ELEVATOR
1. Make race car noises when people get on and off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while slapping your forehead and muttering, "Shut up dammit, all of you just SHUT UP!"
4. Whistle the first 7 notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout Cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask, "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper, "Ever had a Wet Willy?"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral."
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on."
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter, "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say, "oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary Had a Little Lamb" while continuously pushing buttons.
25. Holler, "Chutes away!!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "Human Head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, then say, "Mmmmm.....tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a hand puppet and talk to the other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
34. Play the accordion.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say, "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say, "I wonder what all these do?" and then push ALL the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger, "Wanna see wha in muh mouf??"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket a clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting bigger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil fiercely and scream, "BAD TOUCH!""
ANYWHERE
Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's road maps.
Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?", "What?", "Never mind, it's gone now."
Stare at someone in an elevator until they look at you. Then pronounce proudly, "I've got new socks on"
Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
Make appointments for the 31st of September. (people who dont get this... there is no 31st in september)
Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."
Take off the eraser to every pencil in your house, or better yet, someone else's house.
When in a chat room, spell everything incorrectly.
Call the operator. When asked, "Can I help you?" reply, "No thanks, just browsing."
On a night other than Halloween, get a few friends together and dress like Jason from Friday the 13th. Have each of you stand a mile apart on a highway.
Add A535 (liquid heat) to that little hole down the center of someone's anti-perspirant. (B.O. remover)
Go to McDonalds and ask for a BK Whopper.
Also, when riding up an elevator with a stranger, start singing a song that everyone knows, then expect them to start singing too. If they do not start singing, insist, "Everyone knows that song. Are you stupid?"
Pretend you are invisible.
